When you date it’s easy to become infatuated with the person you’re with. So much so that you blind yourself to signs of their true natures. It can be easier to find justification for the pain they cause you rather than lose them. Long term couples are especially prone to this. When you trust someone you can’t help but make excuses before asking questions.
Sometimes you’re just not ready to hear the answers.
The most terrifying part of being in a toxic relationship is you’re never sure if you’re really in one. It’s a constant emotional roller-coaster.
As much as it hurts to be with them; a part of you is terrified to be without them. Every time you pull away it feels like they pull you back. The bruises on you don’t hurt as much if they hold you after. The emotional abuse doesn’t sting so bad when they say I love you after. The door feels harder to open when they’re holding the child you share.
And so you close it.
Only to suffer again. And again. Until, that’s all you know. For some of you it’s sadly the only love that you’ve ever known. You find it harder and harder to love yourself when they blame you for their actions; when you are called the source of their infidelities. And this lack of confidence holds you back from finding something better, simply because you feel like you don’t deserve it.
“I cheat on you because you…. ”
(Insert bullshit here)
“I beat you because you….”
(Insert bullshit here)”
“You are worthless because you….”
(Insert bullshit here)
Let’s get real honest here. No fancy words. No clever one liners. I want you all to hear me on this.
Don’t ever invest your time and energy into someone who doesn’t see your value. That’s when you lose your worth. The more you give to them then the less of you there is left. What happens when you have nothing to give?
I want all of you to take a second and really think about whatever situation you are in. Whether it’s a boyfriend, girlfriend, best-friends, just talking, furries it doesn’t matter. I want you to ask yourself:
Are you happy?
It’s an important question that we don’t ask enough. And if you answered no then:
What are you going to do to change it?
You are so much stronger than you think. Life is too short to spend it with people who don’t bring out the best in you. A toxic person will affect everything around you. So why go through it? For the sake of your wellbeing and those around you:
No more excuses.
So often people tell me:
“I do it for my kids.”
Only to not realize how much their child is suffering with them. We become so wrapped in our own pain that we ignore the feelings of those who watch us, the ones who genuinely love and admire us. You forget that you’re becoming a different person before their very eyes.
You don’t see how much you’re really sacrificing.
So stand up. Hold that beautiful head up high and let go of the negative ass people in your life. Grow from your pain and let it fuel the best parts of your character. As much as they’ve doubted you, you can’t afford to doubt yourself.
You got this.
Now go out there and prove them wrong.